tikiera

It is the dark part of the year, the time between Halloween and the longest day.  The time when I examine myself, my life, the difference between I believe and what is true, and hope there isn't much difference there.

It's the time of self-examination, and sadly, often of self-doubt.

I was reading Slacktivist, and one of the bloggers stated -

"If I really believed in God as the Catholic Church understands him, I would find myself compelled to oppose him."

They were discussing their lapsed Catholicism, and the attempts to reason with their brother. 

It struck a cord in me.  I have struggled with my faith, with my belief in God for many years now.  And what it boils down to is this.

If God is the God of my childhood, the God that my relatives believe in, I would find myself compelled to oppose him.   I can't believe in a God that has an eternal Hell, but because I can't worship that God.  But Hell is so tied into what have I have been taught, it is hard for me to have a Christianity that doesn't include it. 

And if I do find a path that has a God but no Hell, my relatives will feel the need to work towards my salvation, as such a thing would be too blasphemous for them to understand.

I am just now coming to that realization.  If I find a path that I can live with, they will not be able to join me on it.